Why do we hear so much trash-talk from the Jesus crowd about the sanctity of the marriage relationship, and how great marriage is, and everybody should be in favor of it, and somehow their marriages disintegrate as rapidly as everyone else's?
I'm glad you asked.
The Christian community routinely condemns married women to a life of hopelessness. If you are a woman who has chosen badly, woe be unto you! The principle that carries the day is "wives obey your husbands." Now, far be it from me to suggest that wives shouldn't obey their husbands: I'm simply suggesting that this is a recipe for a jail sentence, not a happy marriage.
This is what I want: Every man who makes noise about Jesus, try to remember that the man you claim as your God was supremely self-sacrificing. Jesus went without sleep, without food, without friends, was cold, wet, homeless, and ultimately killed unjustly so that your lot could be made better. And while you're rolling that one around, try this one on: "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it." So whatever you read that Jesus did for you, you're supposed to be doing for your wife. You should be breaking your neck to improve every aspect of her life.
Ideally, we should never choose ourselves over our wives. If it comes down to a choice between my desire or hers, (and we're assuming that our wives aren't asking to sell the children to pay for a vacation) her preferences should win the day.
Maybe wives are slow to obey because husbands are petty, selfish tyrants, wielding their power at home for their own gratification without improving the lives of their family? Maybe the selfishness of "Christian" men is what destroys their marriages?
Jesus called the apostles and said, "You know that the rulers of nations have absolute power over people and their officials have absolute authority over people. But that's not the way it's going to be among you. Whoever wants to become great among you will be your servant. Whoever wants to be most important among you will be your slave. It's the same way with the Son of Man. He didn't come so that others could serve him. He came to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many people." (Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 20)
Stop complaining and serve your wives. Wait on them hand and foot. Work to make their lives better in every respect. Chances are better than even that the obedience thing will never come up. Who knows? She might even want to stay married.
2 comments:
Not just for Christians, either.
That goes for the rest of us as well.
My feeling is that a man's job is to make sure his wife and children are safe, healthy, and happy.
What you fail to mention is that the Christian community routinely condemns all sorts of people to a life of hopelessness. If you are a man or woman who is not actively seeking to become married by the age of 17, something is wrong with you. Furthermore, Jesus was able to give without thought because he was...ummm...o yeah...God. It's a little different for regular people.
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